Thursday, 11 May 2017

My adventures setting off security doors at shopping centers with my pacemaker and how it gave me super powers.

A week or so ago I went shopping.

Everything was normal, I had bought a mouthwatering book whose origins came from the far flung, airy vaults of the divine ( The Silmarillion)  and I was anticipating a long, extremely relaxing read with my cat.
but then something strange occurred when I was leaving through one of the shop's security doors.. exactly like this



One of the shop attendants came over

I tried to explain that the metal from my cardiac device  had made the security doors buzz

after a brief awkward silence

By then I realized that I was feeling fatigued and my heart was fluttering a little bit . I went and bought a bottle of water and a small box of pumpkin and feta salad to re energize. 

Drinking water, eating delicious salad and reading the blurb of my new book about sixty times helped me feel better.

I decided to look at a few more shops.

but then something amazing happened

Nothing!

the doors didn't buzz. I went into a few other shops and it was the same as well.

Then I concocted a theory. I was feeling a lot better after the rest, the water, the salad and the excessive blurb reading. My heart wasn't fluttering anymore.

when my heart skips a beat my pacemaker gets it back into rhythm with a tiny, little electric pulse which I can't feel.

so maybe because my heart wasn't fluttering anymore my pacemaker wasn't sending these little electric pulses and that's why I wasn't setting off the security doors.

I came to the last  pair of security doors

I became nervous. What happened if my heart decided to start fluttering again and I made the doors buzz? 

I stepped through the doors.

and then it hit me.

The doors started buzzing because I was nervous. Nerves make my heart skip beats

now every time I went through a security door I could make it buzz. I could basically do it on command,

I have super powers!

View the original post on the excellent The Average Cyborg Blog




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